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Sailing with Charlie - Discretion

Not long ago, Charlie was captain on a small and rather cramped charter yacht with two couples who barely knew each other, but in order to keep the cost of their rented yacht to a minimum, had decided to team up. Bob was a middle-aged, paunchy lawyer; his wife Felicity was thirtyish and had an hour-glass figure. Gerald was a Rodney Dangerfield look-a-like and a comic to boot; his wife, Doris, was plump and, to be kind, pleasant enough.

Often with such scenarios your new best friends soon become your latest worst enemies.

Felicity sported the briefest possible bikini and pranced about the deck as though she was on the runway at a fashion show. She had a problem though: there wasn’t quite enough cloth in that tiny bathing suit to cover her rump. “It’s an enigma why girls often buy the skimpiest bikini and then try the impossible task of trying to pull it down over their buns when they think someone might be looking,” laughed Gerald, “And I’m always looking!” Charlie just nodded, preferring to keep impartial. “There’s a lot to be said for the middle-aged stout and sturdy type, ‘They don’t tell, don’t swell, and are grateful as hell,’ to quote a founding father.”

When it came time for a snorkeling trip, Felicity said she’d never done it before but gamely donned her kit and jumped in. Immediately, her top became a necklace and her bottoms disappeared into crevices. She never even noticed because she was so busy battling with snorkel, mask and fins. Charlie, who was in the water, almost went over to help but decided that discretion was the better part of valor and that he would keep a close eye on the situation instead! Gerald, also in the water, did not even pretend to be discreet and kept circling the hapless girl like a shark preparing for the kill.

As the week wore on, Felicity began to make advances towards Charlie and Gerald laughed at the obvious flirtation. It did not go un-noticed by Bob who took certain umbrage at the situation while becoming more pissed off at his new best friend.

Bob turned out to be a divorce lawyer and one evening he told the story of a married couple who ran up a bill of 100K and then at the last minute changed their minds and decided not to divorce. Apparently, they were always terribly in love when they were out partying. They would go out at weekends, have a fine dinner, dance the night away in some club and after imbibing heavily would rush home and leap into bed with a bottle of vodka and have terrific sex until the cock (croaked) crowed. The rest of the week they hated each other. The stay of divorce lasted for a month and then they started proceedings all over again - for another large fee.

Strangely enough, the two couples started getting along better after that and were still on good terms at the end of their holiday. Charlie didn’t get a tip that week but later a rumor spread that he had gotten something else instead. Charlie didn’t say a word – he was far too discreet.

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